I’m going to copy what I wrote in my journal yesterday morning because my friend Becky said I should put it on the blog!!
“The Lord has shown me my life’s journey in a fresh new way this morning.
He called me to begin my journey when I was 10 years old. The journey through my teens took me away from a lot of the shallowness of this world and some friendships. (Added fresh just now: For as long as I can remember, I wanted something “more” than what was seen. I didn’t want to live on the surface of life. I pursued that pretty much for years but went about it wrong at times. I became a really good Pharisee somewhere along the way, and instead of just pursuing my longing for depth, I criticized others in my thoughts for their shallowness. Not an effective way to be a help, mind you!! But a few years ago, I rediscovered that wonderful verse where Paul exclaims: ‘Oh, the depth! Of the riches of Christ…’ and THAT finally put a scriptural backing to a lifelong desire. That is all I’d ever been looking for and it was and is found only in Him.)
He had called me into a journey with Him that would last a lifetime. I packed my bags at the age of 24 and unpacked them when I was 46. But the journey within didn’t end. Maybe my “feet” weren’t going anywhere much anymore, but oh, I had a LONG ways to go in my heart, my soul and and my head. He lead me away, like He did Abraham, from EVERYTHING comfortable and familiar and took me into new places on every hand.
He blessed me over and over again, not because I was worthy, but because of His goodness. And now, He is bringing me back to my family by helping me love them as I should, accept them for who they are, embrace them and get to know them.”
And the journey isn’t over yet because I am still here. If He was done with me, He would have taken me home by now. He asked me over 18 years ago now if I would be willing to live an ordinary life. Just an ordinary life. Not in the spotlight like my “former” life had been. Not in a fishbowl that everyone could see. It has been an adjustment, yes, but it has been just right as well. I can see now His wisdom in asking me that question because He knew I desperately needed to learn lessons that could only be learned out of the spotlight life. A line from a hymn we sang in meetings comes to mind, “Right was the pathway leading to this.” Amen. Amen.