When you need room to grow


Oh my, it has been a long, long while since I have posted anything new.  I truly feel like I’ve said everything I set out to say, and that is why there has been a silence.   This morning, however, some new thoughts started coming and I didn’t want them to get away.

I saw a clearer picture of myself this morning than I had previously seen in Jesus words of Matthew 9:17.

And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.”

This verse helps to explain why I had to leave the meetings back in 2006.  By that point, I was trying to pour my new wine into the old wineskins and it just didn’t work.  The new wine was my growing relationship with God and new revelations of not only who I was, but more importantly, who He was.  Jesus said if you try to force those back in the old wineskins, the skin would burst from the pressure,  spilling the wine and ruining the skins.  What a perfect analogy.  New wine must be stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.

I tried so hard to “fit” the new ways of understanding into my professing life for a few years.  I wanted to stay so I could share what I was finding with others in the hopes that it would inspire them to also “ask, seek and knock”. I have heard of some through the years that are staying in meetings because of that very desire; even though they see many things about the System that are not right.   But the growing frustration I felt while trying to do that lead me to eventually feeling like I would truly explode!  I would drive away from meetings extremely frustrated because it was all so ho hum, so same-ole-same-ole.  There was nothing fresh and new.  Everyone seemed content where they were spiritually.  I was excited about God and about Jesus and I was yearning for someone else to not only feel that way as well but be willing to act upon it.  Talk about it.  Dig deeper than ever before.  Be willing to think outside the professing box.

The wineskin was what held the wine and it had to be new when there was new wine so that it could expand and get only better with time.  The meeting system, the group and what they believed, became old and it wasn’t stretching at all any more. (Ironically, the group seems to be proud of that fact.)  It didn’t have the capacity to hold anything new or anything fresh.  It burst within me because the pressure became too great.  I had to put everything within me into something new.

I’m reminded of what someone once told me years ago.  He had been professing and even in the Work for a few years but eventually left the meetings entirely because he said he was meeting with people who didn’t want to grow any more spiritually or emotionally but had he asked them that, they would have denied it completely.  But the reality is that folks are afraid to ask, seek or knock because it has been told them for so long that if they did, they would end up “outside”.  And yes, this may be true.  But you end up outside of the group only.  

You do not end up outside of God, His love, or outside of Christ (unless you choose to put yourself there), or outside of other Christians or outside of the Kingdom of God. You don’t end up outside of heaven, or outside of forgiveness, or salvation, or mercy or God’s grace. You find new friends, and new people to have fellowship with.  You find new translations of the Bible which make it fresh again.  You find new music to listen to and new ways of worshiping Christ.  You find new ways of studying the Bible and new ways of praying that simple amaze you. You find new teachers to listen to or read about.  You find your heart so full of God and at peace, not to mention happy and thankful,  like never before. You understand freedom in Christ and what is so amazing about Grace.  You want to be a better person like never before.  There is room in the new wineskin for all the new wine pouring in.  It is wonderful! Fear of change can be so paralyzing, and the devil knows that, so he tells us that staying in the status quo feels like the only way to survive.   But wouldn’t you rather thrive than just survive?  Think about it.





15 thoughts on “When you need room to grow

  1. I just stumbled across your blog after a decade long, soul searching, gut wrenching journey. This was an absolutely beautiful picture of the wine skins parable. Isn’t it amazing how everyone goes through this same story of wanting a deeper relationship with God, which results in a new understanding of Gods grace. Every person that I have known, initially feels like they can “change” the minds and hearts of all of their loved ones. I for ten years have believed that if I spoke about grace and love in every meeting that I could have some profound affect on the people that I love and care for so much. It has only recently become apparent that detriment that this fellowship has done to my own spiritual growth. Watching a loved one “leave the fellowship” and experience the freedom that Christ delivered us into so that we could love more fully, has brought joy to my heart. I have wanted so badly to make this new wine fit the old wine skins, but you have helped me to understand what I have always been afraid to accept. I can’t have it both ways. I need more of God’s grace, filling me with joy and freedom. Thank you. I look forward to binging on all of your past blog posts.


    • Welcome! You words were honest and heartfelt. I can so resonate with what you wrote about hoping you could somehow change and/or help those still in the meetings by what we ourselves shared in the meetings. It’s heartbreaking to finally acknowledge that they aren’t going to change. I hope other posts on this blog help you as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Darla,
    As usual you hit the nail on the head!
    I always enjoy reading your posts…even though they are scarce these days,but as you said you have just about covered all that you intended to.
    I was thinking of the verse that says…who the Son sets free is free indeed!
    so why would anyone want to be in bondage again?
    You have explained this so well.
    Today I was listening to someone explain a verse in 1Corinthians 13….
    Though I do many charitable things(he was referring to tithing) and have not charity.,it profit me nothing.
    He explained that if we do anything by duress,or by fear of criticism or other reason…it will not be profitable for us.it would just be in vain.,no value to it…he explained that this set him free when he realized that things have to be done with the right motive,(with love) or because we have a sincere desire to do so or it will profit us nothing

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love this post Darla and all the comments! All our hearts are singing the same song of Thankfulness! How wonderful it is to be free from bondage, legalism, and exclusive thinking! To truly have a real live joy in our hearts and a fresh vision of Christ and to understand Grace is so overwhelmingly amazing!!!! I am thankful! Glad you posted, we have missed you girl! 🙂


      • Hi Darla, my aunt has been professing for almost 40 years…she is a loving beautiful person, but I now understand WHY I cannot ever go back to meetings. I may have to tell my aunt WHY, since I have found the ANSWER in your blog…we cannot put new wine into old wine skins. I haven’t professed since i was a very young woman and am almost 52 years old… since i did research on The 2 by 2s and now understand MORE of their beliefs, I cannot agree or pretend I don’t know. I am very excited to be learning the pictograph paleo hebrew DEEPER meaning of our Father’s WORD before it came to the Western world… the eastern mindset and oriental culture…it’s sooooo exciting to REALLY have the idioms and parables explained by TRUE eastern believers who have been raisded up in the oriental traditions for thousands of years handed-down..If you are interested please look up Bishop K C Pillai: Eastern Customs and Idioms of the Bible The Teachings of Orientalisms! This $18 book has opened my inner most being and eyes to what the parables and traditions REALLY mean; not what any of us personally interprets it as… I found the book on Amazon and it’s washed away any misunderstandings. :)I especially LOVE the one of the woman and the lost coin…it has nothing to do with being poor…it has to do with marriage, and inheritance. 🙂 Love and prayers! Christina


  4. Thank you for posting. So great to read your thoughts again. I am about to visit an Aunt and cousins who are still in the meeting system. I have been excited to see them but I know they will be dressed in the old way and there will be questions in their mind about my choice to no longer “belong” to the group. In short, I am excited but a little anxious too. This posting puts it together for me in concise words. Thanks!


  5. Thank you Darla. You put it so eloquently . How blessed we are to be “outsiders”!!!
    And how awfully sad for the “insiders” – they’ll never know the Christ we love and serve.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you Darla for explaining why you hadn’t posted. Also thank you for a reminder that the personal relationship is our own choice for growth and understanding.


  7. Darla, thank you for the affirmation of my suddenly NEW love for the Bible.
    I have been part of a ladies Bible study for almost 2 years now at a Baptist Church, at first the studies were hard because it was not what I was used to as “Bible study” and we use a >gasp< book plus the Bible (Kay Arthur's Precept studies) this is not the same old boring Bible with ancient stories about dead people and a Jesus I do not understand that I had read about for 30 years !
    The stories are new to me and touch my innermost heart and it just makes me want to cry for all the time I wasted just READING the Bible and not studying it and praying it.
    My new favorite passage is Rom 10:9-13. "If you believe…you will be saved"!
    It doesn't say only if you go to gospel
    meetings or belong "The Truth"
    Such freedom to be able to study with joy!


    • Wendy,
      I know a number of us gals who have cried not a few tears because of being so thankful and overwhelmed with joy and wonder at what we were finding that was NEW and FRESH and relevant to our real lives. To find Scripture truly come alive is one of my greatest joys of all time. Thank you for writing and sharing.


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