There is a quote from “Hymns Old & New” that says about Jesus, He was “misunderstood and by worldlings despised.” One of the definitions I found for worldling was “a cosmopolitan & sophisticated person”. That made me smile. Perhaps the writer of that hymn had in mind more this definition: “A person devoted to the interest and pleasures of this world”. This post is not about worldlings thankfully, but I couldn’t resist inserting this.
It is about being misunderstood and my longing to be understood.
The line in this hymn was about Jesus. Jesus was misunderstood by almost everyone and yet He never wavered from His purpose. He kept on to the end. That is HUGE! He was so secure in who He was and why He was here. It wasn’t until He was crucified and risen from the dead that some began to truly understand Him.
I’m not sure why I often come back to this deep need of wanting/needing to be understood for who I am, what I love, why I do what I do. Is it a need for validation? I hope not, but I am recognizing that it is a need for something not necessarily healthy. I fret over what others perception of me and how they will misunderstand me unless we have some deep meaningful conversation. I’ve always been terrified of being perceived as shallow.
I started this blog because it was important to me to let the workers and friends know how I arrived at Point B from Point A. No one was asking me how I got to such a different place and this was troubling to me. So, I have told my story here on this blog so they would know.
This may sound silly but I worry about what will be said at my funeral. That hymn “only remembered by what we have done” comes to mind. Shouldn’t it be by what we have been?
People work hard to leave a positive legacy behind. Writers write their own autobiography so others will know them. I hope my words left behind will do that for me. The four writers of the Gospels along with the Apostles Paul & Peter did their best to share what they knew and understood of Jesus. I can do the same. Share what He means to me and how He has shaped my life.
There was another hymn we used to sing said, “God understands me; this thought will suffice.” Gulp. Being in this place rather than being so desperate for others to understand me is a world of difference in how each makes me feel. Knowing God understands me….I can feel the strivings and longings ease a bit.
I’m realizing I have much of this whole idea backwards. First of all, God understands me. Then, it’s not supposed to be about me seeking to be understood but rather for me to seek to understand others. To invest in them….my family, my friends and my co-workers at work every day. To get to know them because in that very process, they will get to know me.
Aha…1 Corinthians 13:12 just now comes to mind and answers it all!
“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”
The day will come. I will be fully known and I will also know. Oh what will that be like?