Should I or shouldn’t I?

Hi blogger world!  I know….I know…..I haven’t posted anything for months.  I’ve been going through a strange phase and nearly every day I am posed with the question, “Should I write about this (or that) or shouldn’t I?”  For some reason and somewhere along the line, I became fearful of being vulnerable and open here.  Fearful of what my critics are saying.  Hurt at how they are misunderstanding me and judging my motives incorrectly.  So, potentially everything I thought about writing was immediately deleted.

Initially I stopped posting here because I felt like I had said everything I needed to say. Lately, a few new topics have come to mind that I think would be good for thought but I freeze up when I start to actually write them down.

I have realized that I MISS hearing from my readers. I miss the connection and community we had here.  And not only do I miss it, I NEED it.  (Even that is scary for me to admit in this format because I start imagining  what some of the friends or workers are saying)  I have isolated myself more and more the last few years to protect myself from being further hurt and while I am an introvert and love and need to be alone a lot of the time, I do need more live connection in my life. So, I hope I still have some kind readers out there who will listen and read and comment.   I have an AMAZING group of gal friends that are the best ever; unfortunately we live all over this country and so we don’t get to see each other very often but they are my community and my church and I couldn’t survive without them, but I need you guys also.

So, without further ado, I will make a real effort to write about a specific topic in the near future and let it loose into cyber space and pray like mad that God will protect me and whisper, “Fear not” in my ear once again and my heart will be still.