A personal relationship with Jesus…what a wonderful thing!

Journal entry from Memorial Day 2006

I heard at church recently this statement: “The search for the real Jesus is really my search for the real me. If I see Jesus in a box, then I am going to see myself in a box. Jesus was untamable.”

I feel such a hunger for God. The need to be in His Word, praying, journaling or listening to Christian music all the time. Of course, I can’t do that; but right now, that’s what I wish to do. I WANT to know Him better because I am beginning to see all the answers I’m looking for, all the clarity and freedom I long for. Those things will come as I enter into a deeper relationship with Christ.  I feel like I can’t get enough of Him! I want to give Him all my heart. Share ALL my heart with Him. Look and listen to see what He will share with me from His heart.

Why didn’t I as a worker ever see this and teach this? It is so awesome and real. Deep. Incredible. Scriptural. In workers meetings we heard that this whole idea of “having a personal relationship with Jesus” was silly. It was made fun of, almost scorned, rather than seeing it as a key element to joy. The focus was on “doing” rather than “being”. Now I am seeing all the way through the Bible a love affair of the heart between God and man that God was after.

The message I feel strongly about getting across on this blog is that God/Jesus were never the problem! It is the fellowships’ interpretation of Him that was the problem for me. I often want to ask people who have left the meetings or church and then exclude God from their lives, “What did Jesus ever do to cause that kind of choice?” Not, what did the workers do, or your parents do, or what did the friends do, but what did Jesus do?

Jesus was made small, far away and judgmental. However, I knew from what Solomon wrote that “the heavens, even the highest heaven, cannot contain Him.” There is no end to finding out more about Him and I can think of a no better quest for my life.

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5 thoughts on “A personal relationship with Jesus…what a wonderful thing!

  1. What a wonderful thing you said Darla at the beginning of this post! I love it! I have been very aware for many years that Jesus teaches me about myself. It is very sad to see many with the solid belief that the meetings, the workers and the people are God and Jesus. Anything outside of it is not God or Jesus. When you know you have a personal relationship with God and Jesus is your best friend, the meetings, workers and people slip down into their correct places, which is a church, preachers (all to be discerned by their fruit and their teachings) and people, many of whom we can choose either to mix with or not.
    It was very sad for me to hear an older person say (as he was confronted with many upsetting truths about things) this…”but I don’t know God, how can I know God?”. Religion does a fine job of coming between people and God. Jesus did not start any church, religion or any formal gatherings with rituals. He showed us his Father, our God, and how to live in this world. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with fellowships, churches, gatherings, and people communing in spiritual or religious agreement, it is sad when one can see that this is God to them and all that they have.
    For many years now I have been saying these words when the opportunity arises…”Take your relationship and experience with God to the fellowship and share it”….which is hugely different to the many who attend the fellowship to “find God, be at God’s throne, be fed twice a week, feel right with God”. True freedom is letting God dwell within without us thinking or being in control. That’s a big leap. But the feeling inside is indescribable. True freedom is just ourselves and God. Jesus said there would be only a few that would find it, for it is very, very narrow. Just ourselves and God. Thank you again.

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    • Another thing that was never taught (and not believed or even know by most in the meetings) was the Trinity. In fact I have heard that mocked – while 99% of all Christians have believed in the Triune for several thousand years. It is only the cults that will remove and demote Jesus from his place as God the son and make him the elder brother or wise/nice guy. Even though we (in meeting) read about the three (God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit) all being together at one place when Jesus was baptized and at the Transfiguration. I didn’t even know that Emanuel meant “God dwelling with us”.

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  2. Darla, this is a beautiful post. You have gone directly to the heart of Salvation which in turn goes directly to the error in the “fellowship” teaching, doctrine, and practice. I used to think that the system of fellowship WAS salvation. Many people in many religions do. The personal relationship with Christ and the Father came through the Holy Spirit and was such a beautiful and profound thing to me. That was what I needed, all I needed, and have come to crave. I am so thankful for this that I would gladly suffer again, many times over, to have this relationship.

    Many try to point to their good works as demonstration of “fruits of the Spirit” when it is nothing more than an exercise of their own will or self-discipline. It is easy to discern real “fruits of the Spirit” when the one bearing the fruit is unaware of it! The works (fruit) is a natural result of the relationship with Christ which is as unconscious a thing as breathing!

    I find it so sad and incredible that having a “personal relationship” was such a negative thing among the workers. It is not surprising, upon reflection, because my own experiences here in California with many of the workers and friends was sadly lacking in the love that Christ demonstrated and taught as the basis of Salvation. I still love those people and pray that they will seek for their own revelation of the real Christ, not the counterfeit they’ve been taught.

    I agree with your statement “Jesus was made small, far away, and judgmental”. This sums up the counterfeit Christ. I am a sinner, a notable one, and I cannot live my life for an uncertain forgiveness, uncertain salvation, uncertain love. I believe in the certainty of Jesus promises. I see His Holy Spirit doing wonderful and certain works in people today. I am so thankful for the miracles He has bestowed upon me and those I have prayed for. What could be more certain proof of a relationship than that?

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  3. You mentioned that in the workers’ mtgs, you heard that “this whole idea of having a personal relationship with Jesus was silly”. How outrageous! Perhaps the workers think that if people had personal relationships with Him, then they’d lose their control over the friends? Your valuable insights, Darla, into the F&W system sure are helpful. Love your blog!!

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  4. Darla, I don’t really think that most (and I mean MOST) eever knew Jesus. I remember being corrected about the Trinity as if it didn’t exist. Two of the most important parts of the Bible when coming out was the woman at the well (she sure wasn’t one of the “chosen” people but just a sinner like you and me – and everyone else) and the man on the cross next to Jesus. He saw paradise that day and never “professed” at a meeting or was obedient to the Workers to the end.

    And you are so right – many leave Jesus (when leaving meeting) although He did nothing to them. They look at it as just a big can of worms that has Jesus in the middle and want nothing to do with any of it. Thank you Jesus for saving my wife and myself and showing your Grace to us. Just incredible!

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