Journal entry from Memorial Day 2006
I heard at church recently this statement: “The search for the real Jesus is really my search for the real me. If I see Jesus in a box, then I am going to see myself in a box. Jesus was untamable.”
I feel such a hunger for God. The need to be in His Word, praying, journaling or listening to Christian music all the time. Of course, I can’t do that; but right now, that’s what I wish to do. I WANT to know Him better because I am beginning to see all the answers I’m looking for, all the clarity and freedom I long for. Those things will come as I enter into a deeper relationship with Christ. I feel like I can’t get enough of Him! I want to give Him all my heart. Share ALL my heart with Him. Look and listen to see what He will share with me from His heart.
Why didn’t I as a worker ever see this and teach this? It is so awesome and real. Deep. Incredible. Scriptural. In workers meetings we heard that this whole idea of “having a personal relationship with Jesus” was silly. It was made fun of, almost scorned, rather than seeing it as a key element to joy. The focus was on “doing” rather than “being”. Now I am seeing all the way through the Bible a love affair of the heart between God and man that God was after.
The message I feel strongly about getting across on this blog is that God/Jesus were never the problem! It is the fellowships’ interpretation of Him that was the problem for me. I often want to ask people who have left the meetings or church and then exclude God from their lives, “What did Jesus ever do to cause that kind of choice?” Not, what did the workers do, or your parents do, or what did the friends do, but what did Jesus do?
Jesus was made small, far away and judgmental. However, I knew from what Solomon wrote that “the heavens, even the highest heaven, cannot contain Him.” There is no end to finding out more about Him and I can think of a no better quest for my life.