From 11-10-05 Journal entry
Note: At the time of this journal entry, I was involved in a Bible study written by Beth Moore. She is a Christian author/teacher.
“We were studying Jesus calling the 12 disciples. It brought up a lot of feelings for me, of course. I had no idea how the class would interpret those verses. I was afraid they would downplay it too much, but they didn’t. Instead, they applied the basic concept to themselves. It was so interesting. They took the verses where Jesus told them to take very little with them and they totally understood why Jesus would tell them that. But it wasn’t like it was a huge, big deal to them.They saw it more like Jesus was introducing the concept of taking care of each other. I then got to thinking how the fellowship took those verses and built a whole church around it.”
The fellowship believes you must have a homeless ministry in order to be saved. I had been taught that my entire life and had believed it with all my heart. When I began searching the Scripture for answers to questions such as, “Does the ministry have to live the way the workers do in order to be ‘right’”, I knew I was entering into a huge subject. I’m sure there will be several posts here about this subject.
Not only did I have to search the Scripture again and again on this subject, I also prayed earnestly for the mind of Christ on that matter. I had to find the whole tenor of that subject. What was going on then and now? What truly mattered to God then and now? I prayed desperately that God would reveal truth to me on this subject; that He would not let me be deceived by anyone. Not by the workers and friends, not by my new friends at church, not by people I worked with, not by any author, not by Satan. My heart’s cry in that area was 100% pure. I chose then to trust that God would answer that cry. Why wouldn’t He?
Was I going to base my salvation on believing a certain lifestyle of a handful of men and women? Was I going to base my salvation on what men and women were doing and how they were living? Not even on how truly spiritual they were or weren’t? Only the lifestyle. It was all about man’s efforts and works. Not about Jesus. He was never the true focus. The workers were. How they lived was more important than the true spirit and essence of what Jesus gave those first disciples. Unbelievable. Yes, truly and finally unbelievable.
When Jesus was with the disciples after the Resurrection, His final words to them were, “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things I have commanded you…”
He didn’t tell them to spend their Gospel meetings telling people how they themselves lived. It wasn’t to be all about them; it was to be all about Him. Not their righteousness but His.
It finally became so clear to me where the error was. The error wasn’t so much whether they lived with people or in their own homes, but it was never to become doctrine. The focus was never to be on our own works but on Him alone. That revelation was so freeing.