11-9-05 and 12-17-05 journal entries
“Father, forgive me for how ashamed we were/are of You and Your Word. How uncomfortable we sometimes are to discuss Scripture in our day to day conversations The Scripture is filled with people who talked about God and were excited about Him and what He was doing in their lives and they talked about it openly…and there weren’t even meeting settings yet!
I remember so clearly how awkward it felt to say the name Jesus out loud when I wasn’t in a meeting or church setting. What on earth was that all about? Something was really wrong with that picture! Why was I uncomfortable saying the name Jesus? Why was I uncomfortable bringing Scripture into my daily conversations? Why did I NEVER as a worker offer to pray out loud with or for someone one-on-one when there were countless opportunities when that would have been the thing to do? Why did it all seem so awkward?
I wasn’t comfortable with Jesus privately obviously so I could never be so publicly. If He was the Love of my life, I would have been talking about Him all the time.
This area was just one more area where I seriously questioned what on earth was going on.